Inappropriate Laughter
by Quillage
Summary: Mel finds Peter's complete lack of finesse hilarious.  Maybe not the best time, though.


**This is a baby drabble regarding the wedding night of the High King and Mel. Because everyone's first time is almost always awkward and hilarious.**

_**Disclaimer: I own none of this, and apologies to Lewis who is probably rolling in his grave, and not at all from laughter.  
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_**In Which Mel Laughs Inappropriately**_

Mel and Peter's first wedding night was not splendid. Peter, so graceful and noble in front of his court and army became flustered and increasingly short-tempered as his long limbs lost their ability to work properly. He was incredibly unsure of himself, and Mel's ill-timed giggle fit did not help matters. He fell over a table when he saw her lying naked in his bed, and that was the least embarrassing moment of the night.

They eventually gave up after the initial penetration, which brought Mel's laughter to an abrupt halt and Peter to his climax in, quite literally, one second. As her pain subsided and the giggles returned, Peter's red face twisted above her. He pulled himself out of bed, losing his temper in a rare fit of self-consciousness.

"Your childish behavior isn't helping this, Mel! For the love of Aslan, just… will you please just _shut up."_

Mel promptly burst into tears, sniffling for a moment before rising anger helped collect her thoughts. She was not one to cry like a stupid baby, she was a grown woman and no one, not her husband, not the High King, no one, could speak to her in such a way. She yelled back, inadvertently spitting in his face as she rose to meet him head-on. "Oh, forgive me _Your Majesty_, for being nervous tonight. I should have realized that an almighty king such as yourself would know better than to behave so _childishly_ on such an austere occasion. It's a good thing I married a cold-hearted ass instead of an understanding man who might get, gods forbid, _emotional_ or be willing to laugh at himself." The biting sarcasm in her voice brought Peter's anger into a full rage.

"Oh please, Mel. Are you saying you don't enjoy seeing me so helpless? You just love it when I'm uncomfortable, that's when you mock me the most! I won't have it anymore! It's cold and heartless of you, Mel. I'm quite disappointed."

She stared at him, mouth open, from her kneeling position on the bed. The sheets were wrapped about her slight form and she looked for anything like a wrathful goddess rising out of the mattress to drag Peter into hellacious misery with her. Instead, she threw a pillow straight at his head.

"Well, if you think I'm so heartless now, try this little gem. You can just sleep on the couch for all I care, Peter Pevensie. Actually, I demand you sleep there, I don't want you anywhere near me, you cloth-headed nincompoop!" With these dignified words she flounced over into bed, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. A moment of silence passed, and one eye quirked open when her new husband sheepishly cleared his throat.

"Ah, Mel… I'm, I'm sorry… we're on a ship. There is no couch in our cabin."

Her quiet form held still, and then began shaking, her head still hidden under a mass of hair. Peter shamefully shuffled his feet, his anger and resolve dissolving in seconds.

"Ah darling, I'm so sorry. I've made an awful mess of this, haven't I? Mel, love, please forgive me? I'll... I'll do anything to make it up to you, I'm sorr… …Are you laughing again?"

Over the next few days at sea Mel and Peter grew accustomed their rather awkward lovemaking, and by the time their visit through the Lone Islands ended and the ship was sailing for Anvard, they agreed it really was quite splendid. In fact, it became quite a well-known story that the young couple barely managed to emerge from their quarters for long enough to attend King Lune's feasts, which were held specifically in their honor.

When they were finally back in Cair Paravel, Peter and Mel were thoroughly exhausted. The journey, they excused themselves, had taken it's toll. The sniggers from Edmund following this statement assured them that no one believed their contrived explanation. Their blushing faces, however, did not help in the matter.

**Reviews and such are lovely. I have a few more of these short short stories that I may set out if anyone is interested. Also, just for general information, Mel is introduced in my fic "_In Which Our Tale Begins_." I am currently in the middle of writing the sequel so be sure to check those out as well. **


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